ADVENTUROUS

You know that telling moment—you’re filling out a scholarship application, sitting in a job interview, or answering a Buzzfeed quiz—and up pops that dreaded question. “What three words would you use to describe yourself and why?” You panic for a moment. You figured it was coming, yet you held out hope that it wasn’t. How do people seriously expect you to summarize yourself in just three words? Even more mind-boggling, how do you begin to know which three words are the “right” words to hone in on? 

I mean, seriously, there are about a hundred different adjectives I could think of to describe myself with, and they change by the hour. Each one of them, in the moment, is true and yet would probably seem contradictory alongside another adjective I’d choose shortly thereafter. I’m a complex person, damnit, and I can’t begin to simplify myself into just a couple words. Furthermore, I’m in the midst of this self-discovery expedition commonly referred to as life and therefore I’m not all that sure who I am to begin with! It changes by the hour and becomes really difficult to pinpoint the parts of my personality that are lasting, not circumstantial. 

I can admit that in the past, when I’ve had to answer this question, I’ve fallen back on rather generic responses. Hardworking. Passionate. Loyal. I think they’re true and I can provide examples from my life to defend them. Yet there’s just something missing there. I couldn’t quite identify it but in conversations I’ve had over the past few months I’ve realized something huge… 

There is an incredible difference between the way I describe myself and the way others would choose to describe me. 

In each case, the topic was brought up in a completely different way and was not directly related to the comment interview question. However, I now have had three friends offer up their opinion and I found one word surface in every one of their summaries: adventurous. Maybe you’ll laugh at my lack of acceptance at first, but I was truly floored. I’ve never thought of myself as adventurous!

In my mind, I’ve always been a bit reserved—I was the girl who got rave reviews every year in my parent-teacher conferences, but my teachers constantly expressed that they wished I’d talk more. I’ve always felt that I play things on the safe side—I’m an over-thinker and I’ll evaluate a situation from every possible angle before making a move.  I’ve always been so amazed by the risk-taking I see around me, so impressed by the leaps of faith I see other taking. But I guess I’m not only awestruck…sometimes I’m awesome too!

I’m sure there are some people who have unbridled confidence, who don’t second-guess themselves or worry about coming on too strong. I am not one of those people. When faced with a challenge like the three-adjective objective, I immediately start to calculate how much to brag and how much to stay humble. Clearly, I am not perfect. I don’t want to give off the impression that I think I’m the greatest, because that’s not the kind of person I am. At the same time, maybe I’m selling myself short.

What’s so wrong with admitting that I’m adventurous? I've never but able to do it before. But I do think it’s pretty awesome! It shows that I’m passionate…willing to take risks…excited by new prospects…and even hardworking for making my adventures successful. It means that I’ve taken on big projects (personally and professionally) and stretched myself to live up to the challenge. It means that I’ve gained wisdom from unique experiences.

I believe that all of the above is true. But I wouldn’t have really thought to focus on it before. Unfortunately, a lot of our self-concept is developed early on and it can be difficult to shake the impressions that we have of ourselves at an early age. My teachers thought I was shy…so I began to believe I was shy. As soon as it was pointed out to me that I was reluctant to participate in class or exert myself in a group setting, it became that much more difficult for me to shake those tendencies. I don’t blame my educators; they were acknowledging behavior that could have been detrimental to me and I am glad that I have grown out it. Still, I carry around this self-concept in which I am a quiet, non-confrontational person who is afraid to voice my opinion or do “big things.”

And I’m not. I love having meaningful conversation and spreading my newfound insights and perspectives. Give me a topic that I am passionate about and I will NOT be quiet. I  take risks as nonchalantly and see it as just a normal part of life. I seek out opportunities that inspire me; but I’m coming to find out that those same experiences in turn are allowing me to inspire others. It’s as though my passion, my confidence, my adventurousness is contagious. Which makes complete sense—because I caught it from other people too!

Two years ago, my sorority ordered t-shirts for the new school year that have come to be my all-time favorite KD tees. They’re relatively simple—a plain black v-neck with neon pink block letters that spell out “CLASSY SASSY BOLD BEAUTIFUL” followed  by Kappa Delta in silver penmanship. I was as excited as the rest of my sisters to wear them on the first day of classes and feel confident not only to show off my sorority letters, but also to share such an accurate summation of my sisterhood.

I had no shame in representing Kappa Delta that way—it was easy to see the four words as the right ones to describe our sorority. What I seemed to subconsciously do, however, was attribute those adjectives to something I belonged to, not specifically myself. With time, I’ve come to truly believe in their personal truth.

It’s easy to describe the people and things that we love with loving words. It’s easy to speak well of the people we believe in because we can see past all of their little faults and focus in on all of their outstanding qualities. We know they are good people and that they are capable of great things. We have all the faith in the world in them and they don’t necessarily need to prove it to us…we just KNOW.

But do we give ourselves that same credit? Do we always feel comfortable describing ourselves with strong, positive words? Do we focus on our overall value or our relatively inconsequential faults? Do we continue to have confidence in ourselves or to lose faith after one small misstep? 

We’ve heard it a million times—you’re your own worst critic. And that is so incredibly true. I know I’m a victim of the negative, or even merely neutral, thoughts about myself. Yet my friends and family seem to focus on the positive. We give each other that slack, but fail to see the importance of it when it comes to yours truly. I’m challenging myself, therefore, to remember that I am enough. Not only am I enough…I’m a lot more than that! And you are too. I hope you’ll continue to tell yourself.